your in my heart forever, I gave birth to you 24 years ago and it was the happiest time of my life. From day one you were a force to contend with. Very ramboucious, full of energy, my little beautiful boy. I'm a grandmother now and you are an uncle. You would have made a terrific uncle, I see it with Paul how he looks at Matthew. I wish you were here for Paul as well. It shouldn have been the 2 of you now at home. Laughter, talking, fighting I would give anything to hear all that again. You should have been going to visit your brother. You would have seen what a normal life it is to be with someone you love. It wouldn't have stayed the same.
My son I try not to dwell on the past but I can't help myself. All I see is a happy boy and a beautiful teenager who had hopes and dreams for himself. All went wrong. You should have held on for me your dad and your brothers. Life has not been the same since you left. You have my heart and I keep yours very close to mine and it will stay there until the day I can see you again.
I love you my son, always.
Love mom, dad, gino & paul.
thinking of you / Zia Connie
funny how much time has passed since I saw you last yet I still can't bring myself to believe that you are no longer here. I can't let go. Memories are vivid and now that we are getting older I find myself relieving your childhood. remembering the hot summer days at Earlscourt, you frolicking in the water with your cousins. The laughter is as vivid as if its happening right now. Innocence is what I remember, nothing else. Happiness, contentment - was I wrong? I wasn't thats exactly what it was - lots of happiness. I can't get passed knowing a member of the family is gone, one of our children the child that was suppose to grow old with his brothers and his cousins. The future that I will never know was held for you. You will turn 25 next year, a milestone. You were a baby when you passed away, a child with a promising future and so much to live for. I wish you had held on, I really do. I'm sorry sammy that I am still mourning you, I know you want us all to move on but I just can't.
love you forever and a day
za connie
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO / Connie Doms Sis Happy Birthday Dom. Today you are 52 years old. I wonder the same as every year who you would be today. Gino has a baby boy so you are a great uncle. You would be proud of your nieces and nephews they have all turned out to be fantastic people.
I think back to your birthdays and how mom would always make it a special time. Remember the cake she would buy - the chocolate roll and she would make pizza and we would have our own birthday party just us we didn't need anyone else.
I miss you Dom - I truly do. I still have memories of you in my mind no matter how many years go by they are still there.
Have a great day in heaven. Take care of Sammy for us.
love you forever and a day.
missing you / Connie (sammy's aunt )
why sammy why??????????????????
i love you and miss you can't stop the pain its there it will always always be there. think i'm getting on with it but i'm not. why did you have to go. 24 years old you would be now, your brother is having a baby you should have been here. life is not the same without you. none of us are the same. please sammy I need to see you again come to my dreams, i'm hurting.
love zia
June 21, 2008 / Connie (aunt)
Me and Samooch
Hi Buddy you already know what I'm feeling especially since this is the exact day that you passed away 5 years ago. I woke up at 8:45 this morning almost to the minute your mom called me to tell me what had happened.
I rejoice in the memory of you sammy and boy do I have alot of memories of you. I am honored that you chose me to confide in but saddened that you didn't choose any of us when it mattered the most. I won't dwell on that day Sammy as I know you have suffered right along with us during the past 5 years, so today I say that you have my heart and you always will. I have your memories, your voice, your smile, your laughter all etched inside my head. I love you sammy, today, tomorrow always. I am proud of you and always will be, my nephew, my godson, my friend.
love zia connie
sammy/ Angie (mom) Sammy five years have come and gone and still sometimes it feels like you've gone on vacation and I'm waiting for you to come back. In a way you have gone on vacation as you are now in heaven looking down on us. We miss you each and everyday and one way or another there is always something or someone that reminds us of you, it's like you make sure that we know that you are still around spiritually. I wish your destiny hadn't been as it was but alas there is nothing we can do to change destiny that's something I've come to believe. For me whenever I hear a certain song right away they remind me of you as you loved music and dancing, always full of life, a laughter you had that made everyone else laugh even if they were mad at you. You had a way of making others see the meaning of life which I wish you had seen too. But this was again your destiny and I have come to terms with it, it took awhile, after all we all pass away someday, the only thing is that it should be the parents going first then the children, this is how I've always seen life, the day you left this earth was the day this all changed for me. We love you very much and one day we will all be together again, until then we will remember the laughter and that beautiful smile that brought joy to us each and everyday, whether we were mad or happy.
Love you forever, mom, dad, Gino, Paul and all your aunts, uncles, and cousins.
hey dom / Connie Doms Sis
May 1, 1979 we receive a call from mom at 6:30 in the morning telling us you passed away. Getting to your house we realize there could be a glimmer of hope since the paramedics did not pronounce you gone. That didn't come until 10:00 when mom came through the door from the hospital telling us you were gone. The screams, the pain the anguish I can still hear it all. Driving down to the house i remember the song on the radio - it was "heart of glass" by blondie. To this day when i hear that song it brings me back. My big brother, my hero - lazy days in the summer in our backyard trying to find something to do and you were the one always coming up with ideas. I look at your photos and try to imagaine what you would have looked like today, but for me you will always be 22.
I miss you forever and a day, until the day we are joined at the perly gates I will always miss you. Take care of our nephew samooch.
love your little sis, connie
goodnite, goodnite, goodnite
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMOOCH!! / Zia Connie
Buddy its now 12:00 and I’ve been waiting for this time to say “happy birthday samooch”. This is the part where now you start to laugh because I called you Samooch. Then I give you your gift and you say “zie connie you don’t have to do this anymore” and I say “never mind enjoy”. Then I say “so what are you going to do today”. That’s where it stops because the last time I asked you that question you turned 19. At that time the answer was “I’m going clubbing and then chilling with my buddies”. Today you turn 24 and I wonder what would your answer be? Would it be clubbing with my buddies or something different? But I don’t want to put a sad spin on this day. I celebrate your birthday today my godson like I did all your birthdays from past to present. Your in my heart and you will always be there. No matter how much time passes that’s where you will always remain. Shows us your around today buddy – try really hard to get our attention I know that one way or another we will know that its you.
I love you Sammy, I miss you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMOOCH!!!!
"From the day you were born you captured my heart"
my beautiful nephew / Connie (auntie) dear sammy - today is January 24th and its your brother Paul's birthday. You already know that. If I could have one wish its that you go to your brothers dream tonight and hook up with him for a birthday drink. I haven't been lighting candles in awhile as I am finding it harder to come to terms with your death. Its going to be 5 years but as always it feels like yesterday. That pain in my heart and stomach doesn't go away. Everything I see or hear that took place on the day of your death brings it back. Even parking my car in front of your street brings me back to that morning. Listening to the song by Coldplay "clock"s brings me back to that day. I see your brother Gino and he reminds me so much of you and I wonder is that how you would have looked like at the age of 28? So gorgeous and such a big smile. I had lunch with him today and we were talking about the the old days. I never laughed so hard at the stories he was telling about you. I see the hurt in his eyes. You haven't visited me in a long time but I understand because I know you are working up there. But I feel you and I always will. Sometimes I find myself talking to someone and something I say will remind me of a conversation I had with you. Every little thing brings back a memory. You were my special special nephew. I can't put it into words how special you were and are to me. I cry all the time even when I think I'm getting stronger. Sometimes the tears just fall and fall.
I love you my samoocho, miss you more than words can describe. Miss that voice of yours that would put a smile on my face. Miss so many many things.
Love zia
dear sam / Connie Sammy's Aunt Dear Sammy: I think of you everyday. Even when I try not to you are there. I would give anything to call your house and have you pick up the phone just like you did so long ago. I'd give anything to hear your voice and your sweet laughter. I still haven't come to terms with your death. It was all so senseless to me. 19 years of having you close by. 19 years of beautiful memories and not a day of expecting what was to come. I still don't get it. No signs what so ever of what was to be. Why didn't you talk to one of us. Your mom, you dad, your brothers, even me. Was it that hard to tell us what you were feeling? Would it have been so bad to talk to us so that we could talk it through with you? It feels like all that time we spent so close as a family meant nothing. Your cousin Sam was talking about you the other day. How you and him and Paul used to wrestle. He told the story of the time I took you guys to the blue jay game and how you and some other kid almost started fighting but you decided not fight him because he wasn't willing "to throw the first punch". He talked about the time I took you 3 boys to Canada's wonderland. Remember the southpark key chains? He talked about how you guys used to go to Bickford park and play football and the times I would take you boys to Clinton St. School to play hand ball. Good times Sammy. I don't remember any bad times. I don't remember any sadness. Was it all just an act? Did you think at all when you decided to end it that you would never see us physically again? Weren't you going to miss the family parties, barbecues, christmas? What about your birthday. You always looked forward to that. You could not have been in your right mind. You knew what your grandmother went through after she lost your Uncle Domenic. Didn't you know this was going to happen to us all over again? I never ever thought in my lifetime that I would be around to witness the death of one of my sisters children. This still seems like a dream. I see your name on your gravesite and it seems impossible to me that you are resting there. It wasn't fair Sammy. I can't be mad at you because I know you were not thinking straight and I know you would not have done this to us if you were in your right mind.
I miss you so much Sammy. My samoocho. Its hard without you here. Such sadness. None of us have been able to put our lives in order since you went. Your cousins keep in well hidden but the pain is there. You can see it in there eyes. This has had to be one of the most tragic things they have ever experienced in their lives. Your parents try for the sake of your brothers but you know the pain is there.
Rest in peace my beautiful nephew. Peace surrounds you in heaven and thats all we could ask for.
Love you forever and a day.
za connie
Missyou!/ Samantha Vala (Cousin) Well Sammy I havent been at this website in a while everything is new alot of pictures of you I see. Anyways Sammy I miss you alot still wish you were here but theres nothing I or anyone else can do about it, but atleast we still have our memories. Well im gunna go. Love you lots, Your cousin Samantha.
August 16 2007 / Laura Hey Sammy, how you doing? i wonder what your doing today. who your chilln with. i always wonder where you are and who your with. I wonder if and when your chilln with me. I wish you could show a sign when you are. My sisters Wedding is on Saturday. Im so nervous to say a speech. I hope youll be right next to me( you'd prolly be laughing at me) Gino's wedding is almost here. Your family has invited me. I am soo honored that they thought of me for Gino's special day. i wouldnt miss it for anything. It will be very emotional. You were supposed to be there. I wonder how fun much we would of had togther if you were there. I'll prolly chill with Paul most of the night. Im not bringing a date. Its complicated, id rather just have a good time with your family. As you notcied, my life id upside down right now, i dont know how to make things right. I hope you watch over me, hopefully things will go back to normal soon. I still think about you all the time. your still in my heart, in my thoughts, sometimes in my dreams. You mean so much to me. I cant help but still question that day. Its so uncontrolable. I will never get over this. I will always be thinking what if........... it hurts so much not to have answers. Not to you have here. Even as just a friend. No one can replace the feelings i have,the memories, the happy times. I knew something was too good to be true. I miss that smile of yours. I miss that laugh. I miss your comforting ways and all the unforgetful days. My time with you was too short.
I Love you Always.
hi samooch / Connie Sammy's Aunt Hey Buddy - Gino's wedding is less than a month away. Were all trying to get into it the best we could but there is something missing and thats you. Shannon had a dream of you last night - she said you didn't talk or anything but you were getting ready for the wedding. You looked so handsome in your suit with your hair slicked back. When she told me I started to cry. I've been very emotional as the time is approaching nearer. Its so hard to know you won't be there. I miss you so much sammy - words aren't enough to describe my feeling of emptiness since you left us. I'm on your website everyday just staring at your pictures and wondering over and over again what went wrong? I hate that question and I try not to ask it but damn its so hard not too. You would have been 23 now and I look at Paul and my heart hurts for him as well and your mom. In 4 short years she lost you and now her oldest son is leaving to get married. Paul is by himself. It should have been you and him at home hanging out, confiding in one another and planning your futures. So sad for all of us who wish you were here. I haven't dreamt about you in awhile please come visit me again.
love you buddy, today, tomorrow always............
TIME HAS PASSED AND QUIETLY KEPT NO NEED FOR REMINDERS, WE WILL NEVER FORGET DEEP IN OUR HEARTS, YOU WILL ALWAYS STAY. LOVE AND REMEMBERED, EVERY DAY. THEY SAY TIME HEALS OUR SORROW AND HELPS US TO FORGET. FOR TIME SO FAR HAS ONLY PROVEN HOW MUCH, WE MISS YOU YET.
REST IN PEACE, LOVED ONE!
hey buddy / Connie (aunt 2 sammy pepe )
today is july 31th. Yesterday was a really bad night for me. I got the same pains in my stomach that I had when you first passed away. It hurt so bad to think that you left us. I still ask why even though I shouldn't. I still ask why did you have to leave us? I see your face all the time, smiling, laughing, angry, mischieveous. I see the pictures of you with your brothers or cousins and I can't figure it all out. Such a picture of happiness - never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen. I have been asking Alessandra to send your mom the last pictures of you that were taking by Ximena. Last year Alessandra said she would send them but its been over a year. I asked again last week - i'm not sure she ever got my email - she has not acknowledged it. Your mom asks me all the time "why isin't she sending them to me". I don't have the answer to that. One day maybe they will. It would be nice to see those pictures, but its out of my hands now Sammy. Maybe you can convince Alessandra to send them. Send some of your special spirit to her.
I love you buddy, miss you today and forever.
Love zia
dream/ Laura
Hey Sammy, Ive been thinking alot of you lately. I think you knew that. I finally dreamt of you last night. Nothing that really meant anything. Just that we were chilln togther, laughing, cuddeling and play flighting, having a good time. It was just like it used to be. I miss those days. Thanks for coming, you've prolly seen all the bull s**t that's been goin on in my life, so thanks for making me smile!
I love you
Thinking of you Beatuiful Sammy and Domenic at Easter / Julie Thomas Packer
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